First things first, the folks are doing ok.
Saturday Dad's good friend, D, came up & took family pictures. It was so fabulous!! We had such a great time & couldn't thank her enough! D has been an phenomenal source of strength for me. She is completely understanding of everything that we are going through. When crap gets tough she is always there to listen. I absolutely adore her. My Dad only picks good people to be in his life & she's one of them! She spent 2 hours taking over 200 pictures of the family. How do you thank someone who took time out of their own schedule to spend time with your family, taking any and all pictures possible? Feel free to email with ideas. I can't wait to see the pictures!
There was only 1 sad time when we were taking pictures. My mom wanted one of herself, she wanted one of dad as well. She kind of sprung it on me and I choked back tears as she explained that she wanted a good single picture of her and dad for their obituaries. We didn't think dad would understand why we wanted a pic of him alone but as they were driving home dad said, "I can die now, I have a picture for my obituary." Again choking back tears. This isn't supposed to happen yet. They're too young to die. I digress.
Through my conversations with D, we are thinking that dad is willing himself to die. He made the comment to J, that he wasn't going to bury mom. I mentioned that to mom & she said that someone else had told her the same thing. My dad is essentially giving up. As sad as it is it's kind of a comfort to know that dad trusts us with mom. As D said, "He knows that if he dies, he'll see your mom again soon." It's a painful realization.
Moving on. We'll start with mom, she's easier right now! Yesterday she had an appointment with her oncologist. The oncologist thinks that she looks good! She hasn't started losing her hair yet. She hasn't had many side effects from the chemo as of yet. She's tired, and that's her main complaint. She smiles, she laughs, she's in good spirits. Maybe it's a front for us. Such a selfless woman she is. As I've said before, "Chemo is for the family, not for the patient. Who would willingly open themselves up for chemicals repeatedly to live when in all actuality it might only buy you a year or more?" I learn everyday what it's like to be a mom from my mom. I've been one for 12 years however learning how to be a mom to older kids is what I'm taking notes on right now.
Now onto dad. He's not so simple right now. He's feeling like crap. He's stuttering, he's stumbling, and he looks gray 90% of the time. Yesterday was a great day. He was happy and joking and only stuttered slightly. It was fabulous. You see, my dad has new found hope. Yesterday he had 2 doctor's appointments. One was w/ his regular doctor because his right breast was hurting and there was a lump there. My mom couldn't feel anything so I went down and felt. There was something there, what, I didn't know. Dr. Jani told dad that he has inflamed breast tissue. To be sure that's all it is, he rx'ed anti-inflammatories and dad has an ultrasound on his right breast. This could possibly have something to do with his tumor. We're kind of hoping that it does. If it does then dad goes in for brain surgery to get rid of his tumor and we hopefully get the happy dad back!
Moving on, Dad saw his heart doctor yesterday as well. His heart doctor threw a massive fit saying that everything that is going on with dad is NOT stress related and basically everyone else is full of shit and lazy because dad's symptoms are REAL. Something IS going on with him and his heart doctor, Dr. Murphy, is going to get to the bottom of it. He's going to find out what is going on inside of dad's body. Thank God.
That's the update from here. Hopefully soon we'll have more information on what's going on. Hopefully mom continues feeling pretty well.
To My Daddy,
Don't give up yet. You have so many people fighting for you. When you're too weak to fight for yourself use our strength to pull you through. You mean so much to so many people. We love you so much!! ~Lisa
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