Mom had her first chemo on Monday. Dad wasn't well enough to go (he was super tired) so I took her. Luckily I had taken the day off. She tried going to Pontiac and it was quite the disaster. Pontiac's office is dark & dreary. It's part of the old hospital. It's yellow cinder block. There's ONE window in the chemo room with 15 chairs crammed inside. It was a nightmare.
We walk in & it took easily 45 minutes for them to hook her up. She was the 4th one there. There was a woman with her husband who was being infused. Another woman who looked annoyed that she was even there. In the next chair there was a woman who was thrilled that she was 'healthy' enough to be infused. Then there was my mom. Instantly looking annoyed at the situation and didn't really like everyone being so close to one another. There was an empty chair next to mom. In the corner was an older guy. Looked to be in his 80s. It's hard to tell age when someone is on chemo because it can age you quite a bit. The rest of the chairs were empty. The room was the size of a hospital room. Literally. In the 'center' of the room was 2 chairs for people who were waiting & watching their loved one get infused. If those filled up then hopefully there was a chemo chair open for someone to sit in.
The chairs didn't lay back as they should've. In the beginning there was 1 nurse to 5 patients. Then around 10 another nurse came in. Quite large and she had a hard time 'fitting' between the chairs and in the room in general. It was loud. I don't know if the people were necessarily talking loud or if it was just such close quarters that it seemed loud. Mom was finally hooked up and she laid back, trying to sleep a little bit. It didn't happen.
Mom was done around 1 and we busted out. You could tell she was just annoyed about everything. It was ok. I was too. I texted her before we even got her hooked up & said "Bloomington next week." Her eyes bulged and she nodded. LOL! I loved it!
The guy in the corner freaked me out. He kept wanting me to sit by him and I kept denying it. I have a thing against old guys. I don't necessarily like them. (Childhood skeletons) He dropped something and stupid me went to help him pick it up. He grabbed my hand & my heart hit my throat. I was NOT comfortable at all. He looked at me & said, "Why don't you crawl up under my blanket with me?" I looked at my mom, searching for help of some sort. He had a TIGHT grip on my hand.. I was thinking let go of me b/c I would HATE to hit you in the face while you're being infused. I wriggled my hand out of his & promptly moved. I don't know what in the hell he was thinking. I was grossed out to no end. I told my dad about it & he looked at me & said, "You should've punched him!" LOL! I Love my dad! I'm kind of glad he wasn't there because he just might've gone psychotic on him. LOL!
This brings me to my dad. He's not well. He's getting worse. He hasn't driven in over a week, I'm sure of it. He asked me last night if I could take him to Wal-Mart. I asked him when he wanted to go. He said this morning. I'm kind of killing time until we go. Mom asked me last night for D's number because she's ready to take him to Iowa. He's had counseling for over a month and still nothing is getting better. Everything is getting worse. He's not stable at all on his feet. He looks gray all the time. He just LOOKS like he feels like shit.
Monday is mom's next chemo & dad's counseling. I haven't taken the day off of work & Mike is leaving for 5 weeks for work training. That means that it'll be me & the kids & the folks. I'm unsure of how I'll manage but I will. I'm really thinking that I need to take Monday off. I can still do it. It's not too late. Mom said that she'll drive down to Bloomington, but what if they get into a car accident? It should be a no brainer. This is my first YEAR on this job so I KNOW that they are watching me closely. It sucks to have to choose job vs my parents. I'm going to talk to mom this morning. If she doesn't think that she and dad can handle it then I'll call on Monday morning and let them know that I can't be there. *sigh* I'm on the rocks about this.
Please keep the folks in your prayers. They really need them right now.
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