Monday morning mom had her 2nd chemo. Her 3 cocktail chemo. Monday she only had 2 though. She only gets the 3rd every other week. This next Tuesday she'll have all 3 again.
I pulled up to the doors and quickly realized that I'd have to walk her in & help her get settled. Now that her chemo appointments are lasting for more than a couple of hours she has more to bring in. More air tanks, more stuff in her bag, and her laptop. I parked after dropping her off. I unloaded the van of everything she'd need and walked in. She was already seated with her folder that has all of her information in it. As I looked around I realized how many younger people where there with older people. Parents & grandparents with their adult children.
I walked her laptop back to the nurses station and told them who it was for. I turned around to walk out, more people had showed up. There were hardly any chairs available for the new people coming in. Soon the chairs in the waiting area would be empty and the chairs in the chemo area would be filled. I walked over to my mom kissed her on the head & said, "Be a good girl & don't cause any problems." It's my typical response. It's a joke between us. The "cause any problems" goes back to mom getting her Red Devil and her heart rate & blood pressure dropping as the nurses surrounded her.
As I walked out, it was super lonely. I was leaving my mom there to be infused. I instantly thought of what it must've been like to leave me at daycare when she worked. I could just see her bringing all of my stuffs in for the day. Dropping me off in the appropriate area, putting my things in my cubby, kissing me before she left telling me to be a good girl. Then the lonely walk out the door as she headed to work.
How similar & yet foreign this all was. I've dropped my babies off at daycare, it was difficult and yet so similar to what I am doing now with my mom.
Mom did ok with her chemo. She was pretty tired though. She's had a rough week since Monday. The chemo is kicking her butt. She's slept a lot. Yesterday was a really bad day though. She was in bed all day long. She was/is super nauseated. Her anti-nausea meds aren't really helping much. I laid in bed with her yesterday afternoon after I got off work and we talked. I can't even really remember what all we talked about. We just talked. It was odd, yet comforting to lay with her in bed wishing and praying to myself for her to get better. I was there for only about 20 minutes or so til she was ready to go back to sleep. I told her I'd come back down later. She said, "If you take a nap, please set your alarm for 4:45 pm, I need you to come back down and spend more time with me." I said that I would. I came home and just kind of sat here in a daze. This is all happening too quickly. I don't like this. I want it to stop. I want everything to stop. I NEED it to stop. I need my mom to be ok. She's my best friend.
I laid down to keep my mind from swirling. At 4:45 pm my alarm went off. I got up, stumbled out of the bedroom (yeah I slept hard), Mike was home, I said, "Hi, I'm going to moms." He sat out in the garage and talked to me for a minute & then I left. I walked into mom & dad's house, talked to dad for a minute and headed back to see mom. I looked at her oxygen hoses to see which one was connected. Her bedroom hose has a green tip and her office one has a clear tip. The green was hooked up. I walked in her bedroom and kissed her on the forehead. Her eyes only opened 1/2 way. I said, "Hi mama!" She said, "What time is it?" I said, "It's almost 5." She said, "I've slept the afternoon away." I said, "It's ok mom." I laid across my dads side of the bed. (Mom has one of those adjustable beds, dad has a flat bed). I laid my head on her mattress and we just talked. She said, "If I keep feeling like this, I can't do this." I said, "I know mom, it'll be ok." Kaitlyn joined us and laid where I had laid earlier. I instantly thought, mom has 2 generations right there with her. Mom, with her arms around Kaitlyn & I. I took a picture. I don't even care that mom looks ill, soon I won't be able to take pictures.
I appreciate the willingness of my mom to have her picture taken whenever. I'm pretty sure I'll need those when the end comes.
Today, I'm hoping & praying that mom feels human today. That her nausea goes away. That she feels better and that this chemo stops making her SO sick. A little sick is ok, SUPER sick is not.
~Lisa
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I Just Want To Cry.
I can't really explain why, I just do. This morning am filled with anxiety. Yesterday was really hard for me. I procrastinated as much as I could. I drug my feet getting ready. Waited til the absolute last minute to get ready. I think I do that so when it's time to go am in a frenzy and then I don't have to think about what's coming. I didn't cry on the way down.
She said, "Lisa, I have a need, well a want." I said, "Mom, I can turn ANY want into a need..just try me!" (My mom has always been huge on, is this a want or a need? LOL!) I said, "What does dad say?" She said, "He doesn't even know, you're the first to know." I said, "Mom, am I your best friend?!?!" I said it jokingly, with a big grin, because it just cracked me up the way she was dragging on telling me what she wanted. She said, "Yes, you're my best friend, so is dad, but you are too." I said, "Woohoo Mom, you're my best friend too!" LOL! Looking back it's pretty comical how we went totally off topic, but at the same time, I think it was necessary. (Of course I'm bawling just thinking about it but I digress)
I said, "Ok mom, what's your need, want, need?" She said, "I'd like to have a little laptop for my chemo treatments. Yanno, one I can farm on." I laughed. I wondered when that would happen. My mom might be in her 60s but she's so tech savvy sometimes. If only I could help her remember how to clear her cookies & temp internet files! I said, "Well, mom, I can turn that into a need." LOL! (For anyone thinking about getting her a mini laptop, do NOT!) ;)
We talked. We laughed. As I was getting ready to drop mom off & help her into the cancer center, I said, "Mom, I really needed this today." She said, "I know honey." I needed that time with her, that time where we didn't focus on what was coming up.
After I dropped mom off I went and got something to eat. I was starving. It was really weird. I was in a fog after I dropped her off. Nothing really made sense. I was hungry but NOTHING sounded good. I ended up at the old stand by of Mc Donald's. As I paid for my early lunch, the lady said, "Have a good day." My mind instantly thought, "Up yours!" Really? Wow. Guess this whole thing was bothering me more than I thought. I ate right quick and went back to be with mom.
She was still in the waiting room. About 10 minutes after I got back, she was called back. They set her up, yesterday she was in purple. (They have different colors for the different nurses) She sat down and started talking about the new chemo, what to expect, what the side effects were. With these 3, diarrhea, nausea, & vomiting is possible. The nurse said, "You will probably lose your hair." We both said, "Probably not." She only lost her hair on the very rounds of chemo. She said, "Well then maybe not, but it's a possibility." She looked at the nurse & told her, "If am feeling sick all the time, I'll be done." The nurse said, "That's completely understandable."
We've told my mom through all of this, this is YOUR body and YOUR decision. It completely is. We won't be mad if ever she decides ENOUGH chemo. We will support her 110%. I wouldn't want to have to go through chemo, be sick, and then stop & have my family mad at me. That's just ridiculous. Although am sure somewhere, some chemo patient is going through it!
Mom did well with the chemo. No bad reactions yesterday. She kept asking me, "Are you bored?" I said that I wasn't. I really wasn't bored. I love being with my mom. We talk about so much. She is completely my best friend. My mom said yesterday, "Lisa, you might end up having to be the strong one after I die. Mike might need you more to lean on than you him." I kind of giggled. Yeah, we're all THAT close to my folks. Then again my folks are just that amazing that it's hard not to be.
I got her DQ for lunch. In true mom fashion she ate her Blizzard first. LOL! Then she complained about how awful their burgers had become. LOL! It was classic. Then she napped. While she napped, I ran her errands for her. I got back and she was talking to someone named Debbie. Apparently I was supposed to remember her. I didn't. I had not a clue who she was. I just remember mom saying, "This is our youngest." Debbie's eyes popped! Apparently I look a little different from 25 years ago. :/ lol!
We got out of chemo at 6:15ish. We drove home. I was on edge and cranky. Mom said, "You always get cranky when I have all day chemo." I do get cranky. It's hard watching her go through this. There's a whole mental preparation I have to go through before I can take her down and not sob the whole time I'm there. I told her that I was extremely stressed out. I was. I was tired b/c I didn't sleep well the night before, and I was just stressed. There's no easy way to put it. I apologized if I was snapping at her. I really don't mean to.
Watching her become pale as she's infused, watching her power port get jabbed as they insert the needle almost made me pass out, listening to the side effects of her cocktail, watching people come and go, watching the bags being changed, the beeps of the IV pumps etc. It just really puts me on edge.
I dropped her off, told her I 'lobr'ed' her and came home. Mike was waiting with a gigantic hug. I needed that. I need him.
The only thing I regret is not going in and hugging dad. I just didn't think of it at the time.
That's it from yesterday. Today we wait and see how things go. Hopefully mom sleeps. Hopefully she doesn't have too many side effects and the side effects she does have, are manageable.
She said, "Lisa, I have a need, well a want." I said, "Mom, I can turn ANY want into a need..just try me!" (My mom has always been huge on, is this a want or a need? LOL!) I said, "What does dad say?" She said, "He doesn't even know, you're the first to know." I said, "Mom, am I your best friend?!?!" I said it jokingly, with a big grin, because it just cracked me up the way she was dragging on telling me what she wanted. She said, "Yes, you're my best friend, so is dad, but you are too." I said, "Woohoo Mom, you're my best friend too!" LOL! Looking back it's pretty comical how we went totally off topic, but at the same time, I think it was necessary. (Of course I'm bawling just thinking about it but I digress)
I said, "Ok mom, what's your need, want, need?" She said, "I'd like to have a little laptop for my chemo treatments. Yanno, one I can farm on." I laughed. I wondered when that would happen. My mom might be in her 60s but she's so tech savvy sometimes. If only I could help her remember how to clear her cookies & temp internet files! I said, "Well, mom, I can turn that into a need." LOL! (For anyone thinking about getting her a mini laptop, do NOT!) ;)
We talked. We laughed. As I was getting ready to drop mom off & help her into the cancer center, I said, "Mom, I really needed this today." She said, "I know honey." I needed that time with her, that time where we didn't focus on what was coming up.
After I dropped mom off I went and got something to eat. I was starving. It was really weird. I was in a fog after I dropped her off. Nothing really made sense. I was hungry but NOTHING sounded good. I ended up at the old stand by of Mc Donald's. As I paid for my early lunch, the lady said, "Have a good day." My mind instantly thought, "Up yours!" Really? Wow. Guess this whole thing was bothering me more than I thought. I ate right quick and went back to be with mom.
She was still in the waiting room. About 10 minutes after I got back, she was called back. They set her up, yesterday she was in purple. (They have different colors for the different nurses) She sat down and started talking about the new chemo, what to expect, what the side effects were. With these 3, diarrhea, nausea, & vomiting is possible. The nurse said, "You will probably lose your hair." We both said, "Probably not." She only lost her hair on the very rounds of chemo. She said, "Well then maybe not, but it's a possibility." She looked at the nurse & told her, "If am feeling sick all the time, I'll be done." The nurse said, "That's completely understandable."
We've told my mom through all of this, this is YOUR body and YOUR decision. It completely is. We won't be mad if ever she decides ENOUGH chemo. We will support her 110%. I wouldn't want to have to go through chemo, be sick, and then stop & have my family mad at me. That's just ridiculous. Although am sure somewhere, some chemo patient is going through it!
Mom did well with the chemo. No bad reactions yesterday. She kept asking me, "Are you bored?" I said that I wasn't. I really wasn't bored. I love being with my mom. We talk about so much. She is completely my best friend. My mom said yesterday, "Lisa, you might end up having to be the strong one after I die. Mike might need you more to lean on than you him." I kind of giggled. Yeah, we're all THAT close to my folks. Then again my folks are just that amazing that it's hard not to be.
I got her DQ for lunch. In true mom fashion she ate her Blizzard first. LOL! Then she complained about how awful their burgers had become. LOL! It was classic. Then she napped. While she napped, I ran her errands for her. I got back and she was talking to someone named Debbie. Apparently I was supposed to remember her. I didn't. I had not a clue who she was. I just remember mom saying, "This is our youngest." Debbie's eyes popped! Apparently I look a little different from 25 years ago. :/ lol!
We got out of chemo at 6:15ish. We drove home. I was on edge and cranky. Mom said, "You always get cranky when I have all day chemo." I do get cranky. It's hard watching her go through this. There's a whole mental preparation I have to go through before I can take her down and not sob the whole time I'm there. I told her that I was extremely stressed out. I was. I was tired b/c I didn't sleep well the night before, and I was just stressed. There's no easy way to put it. I apologized if I was snapping at her. I really don't mean to.
Watching her become pale as she's infused, watching her power port get jabbed as they insert the needle almost made me pass out, listening to the side effects of her cocktail, watching people come and go, watching the bags being changed, the beeps of the IV pumps etc. It just really puts me on edge.
I dropped her off, told her I 'lobr'ed' her and came home. Mike was waiting with a gigantic hug. I needed that. I need him.
The only thing I regret is not going in and hugging dad. I just didn't think of it at the time.
That's it from yesterday. Today we wait and see how things go. Hopefully mom sleeps. Hopefully she doesn't have too many side effects and the side effects she does have, are manageable.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Seems Like I Just Wrote A Blog Like This...
about 2 months ago. Mom's chemo is not working. Her cancer is still growing. I took her to Bloomington yesterday to have her chemo treatment & the doctor wanted to see her. I knew right then & there that the chemo wasn't working. She wasn't supposed to see the doctor. Not yesterday. Her Chemo was cancelled for yesterday and instead she starts a 3 chemo cocktail. It will last all day. The side effects are supposed to be less than what the Red Devil was. I'm wondering if no side effects mean-the chemo isn't working. Right now this is our best guess.
Tomorrow I am to have mom in Bloomington by 10 am. She will go in & get her blood drawn. Then she will sit down to start her Avastin, Taxotere, & Cisplatin cocktail. It will take up most of the day. She doesn't want me sitting there through it all. I feel like I need to. Luckily, or not, for me, last Wednesday night as I was making dinner I decided to slice my thumb and take a tour of the ER. I'm ok but since I have stitches I am out of work until Monday. This makes me available to take my mom. A blessing in disguise perhaps.
Moving on to my dad, he's doing ok. I just got back from their house a little bit ago & he looked really good. I told him as such too! He thinks that this medicine IS working but that he needs to be on a higher dose. It was nice to see him smile, talk, stand, and walk with little difficulty! Definitely a blessing!
This is all for now. I don't know how much sleep I'll get tonight. My mind kind of wanders a lot when mom starts a new chemo.
Prayers are appreciated.
Tomorrow I am to have mom in Bloomington by 10 am. She will go in & get her blood drawn. Then she will sit down to start her Avastin, Taxotere, & Cisplatin cocktail. It will take up most of the day. She doesn't want me sitting there through it all. I feel like I need to. Luckily, or not, for me, last Wednesday night as I was making dinner I decided to slice my thumb and take a tour of the ER. I'm ok but since I have stitches I am out of work until Monday. This makes me available to take my mom. A blessing in disguise perhaps.
Moving on to my dad, he's doing ok. I just got back from their house a little bit ago & he looked really good. I told him as such too! He thinks that this medicine IS working but that he needs to be on a higher dose. It was nice to see him smile, talk, stand, and walk with little difficulty! Definitely a blessing!
This is all for now. I don't know how much sleep I'll get tonight. My mind kind of wanders a lot when mom starts a new chemo.
Prayers are appreciated.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Dad Looks GOOD! HE LOOKS GOOD!
I went to the folks' house yesterday after work and dad looked pretty good. He wasn't all leaned over in his hunched position like normal. I stayed for just a little bit since my head was throbbing! (Yay for weather headaches!)
I talked to mom for a little bit & dad had taken 1 of his 3 doses that day of his meds for Parkinson's. (I REALLY need to get the name of that stuff!)
She texted me about 520 to see if I was coming over for our evening chat time. My alarm went off at 530 because I was trying to sleep my headache off. It worked! Anyhow. I picked the babies up from Boys & Girls Club & then we went to Grandma & Papa's to hang out. By the time we got there he had taken ALL of his doses for the day. He was sitting UPRIGHT!, He had COLOR!, He looked GOOD!. While I was back in the office talking to mom, dad came back & was talking. There was NO stutter! He didn't have to STOP & THINK! OMG! It was AMAZING!!!
Then I looked at his hand.. Obviously I've been all over google & then some researching Parkinson's. I was watching dad's hands. On his left hand he was rubbing his thumb & forefinger together. I got loud because I was waiting to see it again! It's a TREMOR!! Those are TREMORS!!! It's called "pill rolling". Dad didn't even realize that he was doing it!!! He rubs his thumb & forefinger in a circular motion.
As I was talking to mom, I said, "As soon as I get home I'll google it & tell you." I've noticed the 'pill rolling' with dad many times. I thought that he was doing it to keep his hands from getting stiff. He had NO CLUE that he was doing it!
Dad was filled with Piss N Vinegar last night. He hasn't been that way in MONTHS! He told mom that he hadn't felt as good as what he did yesterday evening in a couple of months! I HOPE this keeps up!! I hope this medicine works!! I hope it KEEPS working! I hope dad hits the ground RUNNING now!! He didn't stumble to the office, he WALKED! HE WALKED! His normal stride!! The one that as a child I could never keep up with & now as an adult I STILL can't keep up! LOL!
Way to go Dad!! We're SO proud of you!!!
I pray that this keeps up. I pray that dad's ok now. I know it'll get worse but for now, this is all we could ask for! Dad says that he wants to be back to work in a couple of weeks if he keeps feeling this good! YAY!
Prayers are answered I hope! ~Lisa
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Dad's Appointment Yesterday.
Dear State Farm Agent, Can I get A NEW NEURO?!?! K? Thanks! No really, we need a new one. Dr. Li is disagreeing with Dr. Sibleys assessment & said just as much. She doesn't agree with him because she doesn't believe that this is neurological, she's still backing the whole stress & depression crap. Dr. Sibley questioned about doing a spinal tap on dad & Dr. Li, shot it down saying it was too invasive. I get that it's invasive. I get that it's going to hurt like a sonofabitch. I also realize that if I could do it for him I would. If it rules out, adds in a possible diagnosis then do it.
In the end Dr. Li rx'ed him meds for Parkinson's. He is to take a 1/2 a med 3 x's a day for a week & then a whole med 3x's a day for a week and see how it works. Obviously if it works he keeps it up! As she was writing the rx out she reiterated how she didn't think this would help and was only doing this for Sibley. She wants to see him back on June 6th @ 8:30 am. We're to the point where we want dad better. We want him to have a CLEAR diagnosis & not the bs stress/depression diagnosis.
Dear God, Please let the Parkinson's meds work. I think dad just wants something to show that he's not 'losing' it. God, Our biggest fear is that we'll get a final diagnosis from his autopsy. We don't want that. We don't want to lose him not now, not ever. He obviously still wants to live & is still fighting because he goes to these appointments, he shows them his ailments. They throw back on Depression & Stress b/c they can't figure it out. God, Am begging you, fix him. Make him ok. Any type of diagnosis, so we have a name, we have something to go on. Please give him the strength to keep fighting. Amen.
Mom had Chemo yesterday & saw her doctor as well. She cracks me up....She asked Dr. Sriratna if she had to "Drink that stuff that makes her want to PUKE!" LOL!! Dr. Sriratna laughed. He said, "No, you don't have to drink the stuff this time." It was pretty comical. He was Mr. serious until she said "Makes me want to puke!" Then he laughed.
Mom mentioned that she had to up her oxygen. He said, "You'll be ok."You could see the disappointment in his eyes when she said that she had to up it. He asked when would she go see Dr. Burr (lung dr) again & they are filled for May so when they start scheduling for June she'll get an appointment then.
Mom & I have the same fear that her chemo isn't working. If it was she wouldn't have to up her oxygen right? She would have more side effects right? I am hoping & praying that I'm wrong.. I want it to work, I NEED it to work. Not only for her but for me. Selfish huh?
Moving on...I took pictures of dad & I together at his appointment yesterday. One of the few times he actually wears a shirt. I need the pictures with him. I also took pictures of Dr. Sriratna and mom together. I took pictures of mom & I together. I took pictures of mom & the nurse together. My folks probably hate me for always taking pictures but one day, I won't be able to take pictures. Not of them. I digress.
This is the latest update. (My D button just does NOT want to cooperate!) We are doing Relay For Life, Linda's Fan Club Feel free to DONATE or BE THERE! If nothing else to stand along the side lines & give hugs! :D LOL! Nothing's better than a sweaty hug at the end of June! :P
I think this is the latest! ~Lisa
In the end Dr. Li rx'ed him meds for Parkinson's. He is to take a 1/2 a med 3 x's a day for a week & then a whole med 3x's a day for a week and see how it works. Obviously if it works he keeps it up! As she was writing the rx out she reiterated how she didn't think this would help and was only doing this for Sibley. She wants to see him back on June 6th @ 8:30 am. We're to the point where we want dad better. We want him to have a CLEAR diagnosis & not the bs stress/depression diagnosis.
Dear God, Please let the Parkinson's meds work. I think dad just wants something to show that he's not 'losing' it. God, Our biggest fear is that we'll get a final diagnosis from his autopsy. We don't want that. We don't want to lose him not now, not ever. He obviously still wants to live & is still fighting because he goes to these appointments, he shows them his ailments. They throw back on Depression & Stress b/c they can't figure it out. God, Am begging you, fix him. Make him ok. Any type of diagnosis, so we have a name, we have something to go on. Please give him the strength to keep fighting. Amen.
Mom had Chemo yesterday & saw her doctor as well. She cracks me up....She asked Dr. Sriratna if she had to "Drink that stuff that makes her want to PUKE!" LOL!! Dr. Sriratna laughed. He said, "No, you don't have to drink the stuff this time." It was pretty comical. He was Mr. serious until she said "Makes me want to puke!" Then he laughed.
Mom mentioned that she had to up her oxygen. He said, "You'll be ok."You could see the disappointment in his eyes when she said that she had to up it. He asked when would she go see Dr. Burr (lung dr) again & they are filled for May so when they start scheduling for June she'll get an appointment then.
Mom & I have the same fear that her chemo isn't working. If it was she wouldn't have to up her oxygen right? She would have more side effects right? I am hoping & praying that I'm wrong.. I want it to work, I NEED it to work. Not only for her but for me. Selfish huh?
Moving on...I took pictures of dad & I together at his appointment yesterday. One of the few times he actually wears a shirt. I need the pictures with him. I also took pictures of Dr. Sriratna and mom together. I took pictures of mom & I together. I took pictures of mom & the nurse together. My folks probably hate me for always taking pictures but one day, I won't be able to take pictures. Not of them. I digress.
This is the latest update. (My D button just does NOT want to cooperate!) We are doing Relay For Life, Linda's Fan Club Feel free to DONATE or BE THERE! If nothing else to stand along the side lines & give hugs! :D LOL! Nothing's better than a sweaty hug at the end of June! :P
I think this is the latest! ~Lisa
Saturday, April 30, 2011
All About Mom & Best Friends!!!
So I have a best friend. Her name is Shannon. I got a text yesterday, "Hey we're doing walk for a cure, you wanna do it?" I replied, "YES!" I was driving, Yes I know shame on me. Anyhow, I called her a bit later & said, "Am only walking if we have a cool team name!" I said, "Do you have any ideas?" She said, "Walkin for Linda." It hit me.. they weren't just walking, they were walking for MY MOM! Whoa.. I didn't even act shocked although I was. I think it just took me by surprise. LOL! I said how about, "Linda's Fan Club!" she liked that better. At some point and time today I'm going over to her house & setting up our team. There's about 20 people on it right now.
Obviously this is a post to get more walkers with us! If you want to walk, let me know. If you want to donate because you can't be there, let me know! In a few days we'll have a page up so you can direct-donate to the cause. The cause that has kept my mom alive this long. The cause that has kept my babies with their grandparents for another year, another month, another day.
My mom IS doing the Survivor walk on June 24th. It's at 7 pm. If you want more information so you can come out & cheer her on that'd be great!! If you don't want to walk/can't walk but want to be there let us know! We'd love to see you!!
For more information contact me. Thanks!! ~Lisa
Parkinson's.
We saw Dr. Sibley, I'm unsure if that's how you spell his name. Anyhow, we went in & saw the intern first. The intern wasn't convinced that any of dad's symptom's have anything to do with his tumor. I wasn't exactly nice, although I wasn't mean either. I was concerned. I want answers for my dad. He doesn't deserve to live like this. The intern seemed concerned. As he was looking dad over, the actual doctor came in. The doctor went and looked at dad's disks.
Hope you're sitting down. The tumor has NOT GROWN. How is it possible that Dr. Jani explicitly said that it HAD grown when in fact, right there in the report, with dad's name on it, the radiologist said, "There has been no change." Thank You Dr. Jani for messing this up. Making us worry even MORE about my dad. We were completely hell bent that this tumor needed to come out! It's grown! No, it hasn't grown.
Dr. Sibley was awesome. I wasn't exceptionally nice to him either. He saw my frustration with the mixed opinions of all the doctor's.
I said, "Dealing with all of these doctors is like mediating a divorced couple, it's hell."
He chuckled. The intern interjected that this is a puzzle, we just have to put it together.
As the doctor was talking to dad, listening to him stutter, watching him TRY to keep his thoughts together, you could SEE that he was still examining dad. He watched how he talked, how he moved, his facial expressions.
Then out of no where, he looked at me & said, "Does he tremor often?" I replied that he did, only when still though. I noticed it last week. His hands shake, when he tries to eat, he shakes. I just thought his blood sugar was low.
The Dr. said, "xxxx, I want to see you walk."
Dad gave a confused look. NONE of these doctors have asked dad to walk! He took dad out in the hall and watched him walk.
We came back in the room & he said, "Have you been checked for Parkinson's disease?" No. No he hasn't. He said, "This is what I'm going to do, we're going to call Dr. Li (groan.. I loathe that woman too & expressed as much to the doctor), I'm going to have you tested for Parkinson's & we're going to put you on medicine for Parkinson's. Worst case scenario, the medicine doesn't work. Best case, it works and we make this better for you."
For the first time in 6 months we have something else to go on besides the tumor. All because Dr. Sibley paid attention to my dad. He cared.
We told him about the depression & stress diagnosis & Dr. Sibley said, "No, this is not stress & depression, this is neurological." FINALLY! AGAIN! Here we go! I hope with everything I have that we are getting somewhere with him. They aren't using depression & stress as a fall back because they don't know!
Dad has a doctor appointment on Monday at 9:30 am. I didn't know this until yesterday after work.
Mom said, "Dad said that it's a waste of time for you guys to take off work."
I said, "Uhm, how's he going to get down there?"
She said, "He said he's going to take himself."
I laughed. I said, "Bullshit mom, I'm taking him."
I went out into the kitchen & asked dad when his appointment was.
He said, "Before 12."
I said, "How are you getting there?"
He said, "I'm going to drive myself."
I looked at him & said, "Do you think that's wise?"
He said, "You girls don't need to go with me, we aren't going to find anything out."
I said, "Daddy, it's like this, I don't care what we find out or not, what happens if you get into an accident and hurt someone else? You can barely walk around the house & we're supposed to be ok with you getting behind the wheel & driving somewhere?"
I said, "If it were Pontiac I wouldn't be so pissy about this, but it's Bloomington, they're doing construction, I don't want you to get confused."
He said, "My appointment is at 9:30."
I said, "GOOD we have a date then for 8:30 on Monday!"
He said, "What about your work?"
I said, "Dad, I'll get it figured out."
I am hoping and praying that I don't lose my job. I would NEVER EVER express that to my dad though. I take doctor's notes in to prove where I've been (hell I have to do that for my attorney too since I'm still getting alimony!)
It's like I told mom, "I don't know if I'd want to work for someone/place who doesn't believe that family comes first." Luckily I think they'll be ok with this. I hope so.
So the newest diagnosis is Parkinson's possibly. Monday we should be making more appointments for more testing and possibly get a rx for dad for Parkinson's.
I'm putting another post up since this one is solely about dad & I don't want to get the next post mixed in with this one!
Hope you're sitting down. The tumor has NOT GROWN. How is it possible that Dr. Jani explicitly said that it HAD grown when in fact, right there in the report, with dad's name on it, the radiologist said, "There has been no change." Thank You Dr. Jani for messing this up. Making us worry even MORE about my dad. We were completely hell bent that this tumor needed to come out! It's grown! No, it hasn't grown.
Dr. Sibley was awesome. I wasn't exceptionally nice to him either. He saw my frustration with the mixed opinions of all the doctor's.
I said, "Dealing with all of these doctors is like mediating a divorced couple, it's hell."
He chuckled. The intern interjected that this is a puzzle, we just have to put it together.
As the doctor was talking to dad, listening to him stutter, watching him TRY to keep his thoughts together, you could SEE that he was still examining dad. He watched how he talked, how he moved, his facial expressions.
Then out of no where, he looked at me & said, "Does he tremor often?" I replied that he did, only when still though. I noticed it last week. His hands shake, when he tries to eat, he shakes. I just thought his blood sugar was low.
The Dr. said, "xxxx, I want to see you walk."
Dad gave a confused look. NONE of these doctors have asked dad to walk! He took dad out in the hall and watched him walk.
We came back in the room & he said, "Have you been checked for Parkinson's disease?" No. No he hasn't. He said, "This is what I'm going to do, we're going to call Dr. Li (groan.. I loathe that woman too & expressed as much to the doctor), I'm going to have you tested for Parkinson's & we're going to put you on medicine for Parkinson's. Worst case scenario, the medicine doesn't work. Best case, it works and we make this better for you."
For the first time in 6 months we have something else to go on besides the tumor. All because Dr. Sibley paid attention to my dad. He cared.
We told him about the depression & stress diagnosis & Dr. Sibley said, "No, this is not stress & depression, this is neurological." FINALLY! AGAIN! Here we go! I hope with everything I have that we are getting somewhere with him. They aren't using depression & stress as a fall back because they don't know!
Dad has a doctor appointment on Monday at 9:30 am. I didn't know this until yesterday after work.
Mom said, "Dad said that it's a waste of time for you guys to take off work."
I said, "Uhm, how's he going to get down there?"
She said, "He said he's going to take himself."
I laughed. I said, "Bullshit mom, I'm taking him."
I went out into the kitchen & asked dad when his appointment was.
He said, "Before 12."
I said, "How are you getting there?"
He said, "I'm going to drive myself."
I looked at him & said, "Do you think that's wise?"
He said, "You girls don't need to go with me, we aren't going to find anything out."
I said, "Daddy, it's like this, I don't care what we find out or not, what happens if you get into an accident and hurt someone else? You can barely walk around the house & we're supposed to be ok with you getting behind the wheel & driving somewhere?"
I said, "If it were Pontiac I wouldn't be so pissy about this, but it's Bloomington, they're doing construction, I don't want you to get confused."
He said, "My appointment is at 9:30."
I said, "GOOD we have a date then for 8:30 on Monday!"
He said, "What about your work?"
I said, "Dad, I'll get it figured out."
I am hoping and praying that I don't lose my job. I would NEVER EVER express that to my dad though. I take doctor's notes in to prove where I've been (hell I have to do that for my attorney too since I'm still getting alimony!)
It's like I told mom, "I don't know if I'd want to work for someone/place who doesn't believe that family comes first." Luckily I think they'll be ok with this. I hope so.
So the newest diagnosis is Parkinson's possibly. Monday we should be making more appointments for more testing and possibly get a rx for dad for Parkinson's.
I'm putting another post up since this one is solely about dad & I don't want to get the next post mixed in with this one!
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